换个角度，乌云上面是阳光 Change a perspective, and you will find sunshine above the dark cloud

孔子与弟子被困于陈、蔡期间，曾绝粮七天，子贡费尽周折才买回一石米。颜回做饭时，有灰尘掉进了饭里，因为觉得丢掉可惜，所以颜回就吃了带灰尘的米饭。这被子贡远远看见，误以为颜回偷吃米饭，所以很生气。

When Confucius and his disciples were trapped around the realm of Chen and Cai, they ran out of food after seven days. His disciple Zi Gong managed to buy some rice after going through much trouble. When another disciple, Yan Hui, was cooking, some dust fell onto the rice. He felt it was wasteful to throw the rice away, so Yan Hui ate the rice contaminated with the dust. Zi Gong saw this from afar and thought Yan Hui was stealing the rice. He was very angry.
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佛门里，管这种“观察别人的过失而心生不满的行为”叫观过。子贡对颜回观过，心生不满，甚至嗔恨，其实受苦的却是他自己。如果你是子贡，你会如何平复自己观过的情绪呢？


办法有很多：或者你就相信他这么做一定是有原因的；或者主动去观察了解，找到背后的原因；或者告诉自己，“如果我去观过就会把自己弄得很苦，我不要观过。”


很多时候，我们的苦恼就是因为看不清事情背后的原因，拿自己惯常的知见来判断、衡量人、事、物，更可悲的是我们还不自知。如果我们能从“他”的角度出发，便能更加客观地去观察和体会周围的人、事、物，认识到更多真相。

In Buddhism, this behavior of "finding the mistakes of others and feeling dissatisfied" is called "Guan Guo" in Chinese (which means "observing faults"). Zi Gong was dissatisfied with Yan Hui to the extent that he resented him, but this only caused Zi Gong himself to suffer. If you were Zi Gong, how would you calm yourself down from the emotions caused by observing faults?

There are many remedies: You could trust that Yan Hui had to do this for some reason, you could try to understand by figuring out the reason behind his action, or you could tell yourself, "If I looked for others' mistakes, I would make myself suffer. Thus I shall not do it".

Most of the time, we suffer from not seeing the reasons behind things clearly. We judge and measure people and things based on our preconceived notions. Even worse, we are not self-aware of this. If we can put ourselves in others' shoes, we can observe and understand the people and things surrounding us more objectively, and thus become closer to the truth.